Days went by, and nothing came back in the way of notes, so at the next production meeting, I asked if everything was okay with the sounds. “Oh, I don’t think we’ll need them after all,” said Harold. “I’m hoping the audience will laugh in all the right places.” He was right, they did, and the $3,000 laughs are safely in the archive, waiting for a day when they might have a use.

Harold had a well-publicized intolerance of unnecessary noise, especially in his rehearsals, and woe betide you if your cell phone went off at an inopportune moment. Celebration has a cell phone ring as a sound effect, and, each night during previews, when the effect was triggered, you could feel the audience tense up, waiting for the explosion from an irascible director. When it was revealed to be part of the action, the release of tension was palpable, and there was inevitably a laugh as the audience realized the con.

During the technical rehearsals, I was suffering from a minor chest infection and would sometimes inadvertently wheeze as I was drawing a breath. As we were about to embark on a dress rehearsal, Harold impressed on everyone the need for absolute quiet during the show, and we settled down for the run. The house lights started to dim, and I wheezed quietly.

“Who’s breathing?” came Harold’s imperious demand.

“Sorry, Harold, it’s me,” I admitted.

“Well, stop it,” was the reply.

And off we went.

John Leonard is an award-winning designer who has been working in theatre sound for over 30 years. In his spare time, he records anything that makes an interesting noise in high-definition surround sound.